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Going straight? [May. 12th, 2009|12:46 am]
The Queer by Choice Community

queerchoice

[emmasj]
Hey guys, me again--I got great answers for my last question, but now I have another one. Some people say that it isn't possible to choose to go straight again: Why not? What makes that different?

And for fun, a hypothetical situation that goes with my question: Let's say there's a community where homosexuality is the norm. Would it be possible for some people to chose to be heterosexual, then? And if so, would they be able to go back to being gay?

And how many of you think that choosing heterosexuality is a boring choice? If so, is that compared to homosexuality, or just queerness in general?

Just wondering! Thanks so much for your time and patience. =D
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[User Picture]From: queerbychoice
2009-05-12 03:54 pm (UTC)
"Many people feel that any kind of queerness, even a tiny bit, ever and always defines a person as queer for life."

Yes - almost everyone in our culture except for the ex-gays seems to mostly conceptualize heterosexuality rather like virginity, as the state of never having experienced a particular thing (attraction or sex or whatever). For the ex-gays to claim to be ex-gay requires them to redefine the terms, and it's hard to see what the point is of them doing that when pretty much no one else - homophobic heterosexuals and queers alike - seems to accept their redefinition.

I agree with nodesignation and ophe1ia_in_red that it seems like it's probably easier to choose to learn to be attracted to an additional gender than to choose to unlearn an existing attraction. But I think that if one does manage to unlearn an existing attraction, telling one's friends that one has unlearned an attraction to the opposite sex is far more likely to be readily accepted and believed by one's friends (regardless of whether one's friends are heterosexual or queer themselves) than telling them that one has unlearned an attraction to the same sex.
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